Tigered Out

I am so over Tiger Woods.

The media is all over this guy like, well, someone who trends and gets lotsa website hits and ratings bumps. Unless a Chinese teenager has some staying power, golf is not about golf anymore. It's all about Tiger. Tiger this, Tiger that. When did Tiger get up? (Insert punchline here.)  Where did Tiger stay? (Insert punchline here.) What did Tiger eat? (Not touching it.) Who is Tiger dating? (Love to be touching it.) What is Tiger wearing? ((Insert punchline here.)  It's a bit ridiculous don't you think? (Unless you write punchlines.)

I got up this morning to check out The Masters highlights and stories, and what do I see? This:

1. Tiger's unlucky shot on 15.
2. Will Tiger get disqualified for his drop on 15?
3. Tiger has a bogey on 18.
4. Tiger birdies 8.
5. Tiger looks sharp as ever.
6. Tiger pumps his fist after a birdie.
7. Tiger  tees off on the fourth hole.

Tiger. Tiger. Tiger.

Is anyone else even playing this weekend? Paris Hilton, maybe? Oh yes, there is that 14-year-old who made the cut! His penalty was applied to the letter of the rule, by the way.

I think  we are very close to an all-Tiger Channel. All Tiger, All the Time! If it ever makes the TV grid, look for it as ESPNTiger.

All this information thrown is in my face about the Great Tiger Woods and guess what? He's not even in the lead! Wait, let me see who is. Yes, there it is, three paragraphs down.  Well I'll be damned. Jason Day is leading the Masters, and he even gets upstaged by his wife! He has a two-shot lead over Freddy Couples and Marc Leishman.  So Tiger is not even in second place, or third! He is tied for fourth along with seven others!

Wait another minute. He was. Apparently the United Nations or someone like that got a satellite fixing on his ball or something like that. Let me check with ESPNTiger. Or TMZ. Or the national news. Or Pravda.

So ten other golfers had pretty good days on Friday. Too bad their QScore isn't on the leaderboard.