Tunisia Tops Panama, Wins World Cup Version of Kewpie Doll

Here's a match where someone doomed to write a human interest piece can find fertile ground.

Of course, they'd have to travel to hell and gone -- Saransk -- to get to it.

Panama and Tunisia were always gonna be the carne in a World Cup chile con carne, the filler that fills out the serving.

So, dutifully eliminated before the group stage even got warmed up, dudes convened to play out the string and seek their own silver linings.

 

• Panama kinda backed into the World Cup on a ghost goal -- which only mattered because the USA wet the bed -- so any sorta ort would work for them.
• Tunisia was dead set on winning a World Cup match for the first time in 40 years.

A first half that was painfully slow in getting up to speed finally saw the object of the game pursued with Tunisia posing chances but no results. The best they had to open the scoring came from with Fakhreddine Ben Youssef but Jaime Penedo saved it.

The most appropriate goal that could be scored in a match like this happened in the 33rd minute. That's when Panama punished Tunisia with an own goal. After a missile from José Luis Rodríguez, the ball deflected to Yassine Meriah and found twine:

Tunisia actually scored into the other net in the 50th minute when Ben Youssef tallied after a good cross from Wahbi Khazri:

The same Khazri popped up a quarter-hour or so later, being on the glory end of a nifty left-wing cross.:

Kinda cool to go all that way and see goals.

Especially Panama. Not only did they mess up the USA's World Cup plans, they also cost British bookies around £700,000 for scoring a second goal in the tourney.

Their other marker, ironically against England, made OG Felipe Baloy a national hero.

 

OK, it was history. Still gotta wonder if that lady's also overcome because she didn't take a flutter with the British bookies.

Plus, at long last, Tunisia's 1-2 triumph finally rids them of this feeling:

 

So, both squads are going home, but they've found a way to go home happy.

Delerious, even.