Sepp's Finally Feeling Da Swiss Heat

Published on 25-Sep-2015 by Alan Adamsson
Soccer / Soccer Daily Update

Rehearsing for the mug shot.

It could be time for Sepp Blatter to get familiar with Venn diagrams.

Like this one:

Venn diagramFinding nations that fit the common area should provide hours of divertissement for his attorneys and travel agent.

Exotic options exist, and football's ultimate goodfella might want to offer one last bribe to whomever has a private jet available and get the hell outa Zürich.

When the cautious Swiss announce he's under criminal investigation, the term grim doesn't have another m and definitely isn't a fairy tale.

And waiting in the wings of course, is the Big Eagle. When the FIFA first hit the fan, it wasn't hard to read between the lines as to who the Feds were really after:

Granted, the old swindler isn't officially guilty yet, but this development should quash any thoughts he might have harbored about reneging on his resignation and running for prez again. Not even his sycophants can change that now.

Instead, the world is now left to wonder if these two devious dudes were separated at birth and might soon be joined in shame at FCI Butner:

Madoff and Blatter

Bernie Madoff left legions of innocents with nothing to show for misrepresented trust, which might only be equalled in the private sector by Blatter's bundles of baksheesh building massive stadiums that had no practical use afterward, leaving municipalities with little to deal with their citizens' real and ongoing problems.

Unless Blatter finds stealth refuge somehow, it looks like the day's coming when he'll be reduced to seeing what he can arrange in the prison soccer league for a couple of soups and a candy bar.

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