Sepp Blatter Is the Illegitimate Father Roger Goodell Shoulda Had

Published on 13-Nov-2014 by J Square Humboldt
Soccer / Soccer Daily Update

A favor for a favor.

Damn! It's not just good to be king, it's bloody awesome!

And leave it to the original football -- association, as opposed to gridiron -- to harbor the Optimus Prime of kings, the Lord Zedd of all he surveys.

Where NFL Commish Roger Goodell is merely oblivious to social mores and NCAA poobah Mark Emmert is simply oblivious, FIFA's Sepp Blatter revels in treating ethics like a slumlord treats a single mother who just lost her job. And then he flaunts it.

By all accounts -- especially his -- former fed prosecutor Michael Garcia, assigned by FIFA to investigate the matter, dug up as much dirt as hadn't been swept under the carpet yet and swears his report still had enough jam to jack both Russia and Qatar for fixing the World Cup bidding process. Who knows? Maybe it did.

Here's Paul Hayward, top sports scribe for London's Daily Telegraph, who's inclined to agree:

Like that's gonna happen. Blatter will only look in a mirror like Joe Pesci looks in a mirror:

Prior to last summer's World Cup in Brazil, John Oliver went viral with his brilliant commentary on Blatter's total mastery of corruption. It was accurate then, it's accurate now, and there is absolutely no reason to think it will ever change:

Here's the irony: In 1919, baseball almost died because of a World Series betting scandal involving key players. To regain the public's trust, the MLB owners decided to name a commissioner. And they found a hanging judge so harsh that even the hint of indiscretion was penalized. It worked. The public bought back in, and the game thrived forever more.

But now, under the current bozos, the acutal games are in decent shape and it's their overseers who have the credibility of a Bernie Madoff. Hell, with his credentials, he's probably the commish of the inmates' softball league at Butner FCI. And he's got a shot at holding it for another 145 years.

Oliver is dead-on. As long as the games are popular, the public will tolerate the jerks who run them. It's the perfect con. And in that sense, FIFA -- even more than the NFL or NCAA -- has the best man for the job.

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