Manchester United Wets the Bed Yet Again

There's an irony in an adult diaper being named Depends.

At least where Manchester United is concerned.

Can't depend on them for anything. Except inconsistency, maybe.

The Red Devils were masters of their own fate for gaining a Champions League berth, but after last night, that just went the way of the dodo bird.

Now, their only way in is to pop a few Bournemouth Cherries at Old Trafford and hope crosstown rival Manchester City get dumped by Swansea City down in Wales.

Stranger things have happened at sea, but when viewed in the cold light of harsh reality ...

All this because West Ham United had incentives of their own, enought to register a 3-2 decision in the last match they'll ever play on the Boleyn Ground at Upton Park.

The Hammers also considered it full revenge of their FA Cup knockout that clearly was the Devils' work.

So, dudes were locked and loaded for this one. Unfortunately, some of their fans were too loaded.

After the 45-minute delay that idiocy caused, Diafra Sakho opened the scoring early on, curling one past the United defense:

Well, that looked easy.

United was not without its moments, though, such as this superb effort to draw level:

Anthony Martial is ever present in the danger area.

Dude then staked United to the lead when he got past the whole of West Ham to gain the lead:

Value for money, it probably doesn't hurt all that much to write his paychecks.

Here it is, Week 37½, and the Red Devils' defense still hasn't got its act together. West Ham utilized it fully:

Michail Antonio’s rise is United’s dip.

Winston Reid then delivered a sweet-and-sour treat to the ground as doomed as its most famous namesake with this winner:

Revenge is a dish best served cold.