Lord of the Danes Smites Americans

Dude's got more chutzpah than Hamlet.

The real Hamlet.

Denmark emerged 3-2 winners over the USA, courtesy of a hat trick from the Lord himself, Nicklas Bendtner.

It was an even match in every aspect, which showed in the scoreline. The Danes had to use all 90 minutes to snatch victory from Jürgen Klinsmann's charges. The USA were in the driver's seat twice but were countered by Danish brilliance.

The Americans got a head start in the match, as Jozy Altidore was first on the board:

Altidore's got some Hulk-like strength in him. Not the greatest of passes, so this one was made by the striker himself.

Denmark, on the other hand, replied with a brilliant team goal:

That was more follow-the-dots than tic-tac-toe. Give any striker that much open space, and he'll never need deodorant. And give it to Lord Bendtner at your peril.

But so much for overland trails. The USA have mastered the trusty old Route One method, which apparently seems to be a weak spot for Denmark:

In the States, that's better known as going deep.

Louis van Gaal should learn how to get his squad to long pass like that.

With his country's cause in need, who but Nicklas Bendtner would answer the call:

Clearly, good things come to those who wait.

Note to the Yanks' back four: One can not keep in contact with the Lord by merely pointing fingers. That only works in the Sistine Chapel.

Then, with a mere 10 minutes of Your Earth Time remaining in a deadlocked match, who else would rent the Americans asunder but the one and only No 11, possessor of an other-worldly flair for the dramatic:

Somewhere, Arsène Wenger is slowly, monotonously banging his head against the wall.

It's become Gunner Nation's traditional form of tribute to Lord Bendtner.