FIFA Knows How to Handle a Scandal

Even seasoned villains like the Mafia, drug lords, and the NFL could learn from the masters.

Come to think of it, the NFL has been moving to the head of the class for some time. Just ask Minneapolis how much fun it is to land a Super Bowl.

Still, from convenient World Cup draws to blatantly putting players last when awarding venues, FIFA has morphed bribery and manipulation into an art form and is doing it at a level that not even Iran-Contra mastermind Oliver North could begin to approach.

Time after time, these dudes get away with their dastardly deeds. Leave it to the brilliant satirist and Daily Show graduate John Oliver to explain why:

Reaction to FIFA's recent hijinks elevated from the usual raised eyebrows to riled raised voices. Thank politican extrordinaire and world-renowed schmoozer Bill Clinton for lighting the match. As the USA's point man in its bid to host another World Cup, he was suitably outraged when it didn't happen. The former prez had considerable experience in shenanigans both officially and otherwise, so he had more than a clue as to where to start looking.

And then, lo and behold! As if by coincidence, no less a luminary in the media world than the Times of London falls into a treasure trove of leaked documents that should offer FIFA it's sternest challenge yet in its uncanny ability to have its cake an eat it, too.

Just know that, somehow, Sepp Blatter & Co will do just that. They just will. That's a helluva war room they've got.