Dive-By Shooting: Arjen Robben Felled by Sniper at Training, No One Notices

Published on 01-Jul-2014 by Xavier McSpaniel
Soccer / Soccer Daily Opinion

Dive-By Shooting: Arjen Robben Felled by Sniper at Training, No One Notices

Dutch hopes of an out-of-this-world World Cup win were dealt a severe blow at training today when their star winger and lead actor, Arjen Robben, was shot by a sniper in the stands.

The wounding, though not fatal, was made much worse by the rest of the side's complete ignorance of the crime.

"We just thought Arjie was working the penalty box, like he always does," confessed captain, Robin van Persie. "We had no idea he'd taken a bullet."

SMH

"He went airborne with the frozen chicken pose he does, then rolled around screaming and flailing and pleading for an ambulance. Nothing out of the ordinary. We got on with our extra-man drills."

"It was only when he was still down thirty minutes later that we thought maybe something might be wrong."

Brazilian PD has put out a description of the shooter - a portly gent in a suit, green tie, prone to manic celebration. Last seen escaping on a flume ride:

YEAH

While the hunt for the perpetrator continues, The Netherlands are preparing to play their quarter final against Costa Rica without Robben. A special patch will be worn on the Dutch jersey to commemorate their fallen hero.

DIVE

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