Belgium Cruises Through Panama

OK, their opponent was the side that backed into the World Cup when America wet the bed in Trinidad & Tobago, but still.

And Panama is the fourth straight Concacaf outfit to be shut out in its World Cup debut, but really.

This Belgian crew looks pretty damn solid.

They've got a legitimate shot at living up to the hype of being their nation's golden generation.

 

Fans who make the trek to the resort city of Sochi were starting to wonder, though.

The Red Devils spent all of the first half just dicking around, as if they were treating this match like a mail-order victory. Dudes knew that they'd get around to the goal-scoring sooner or later, which they did in a 3-0 victory.

Panama has no where near the technical aptitude for the game, but they play with heart. Unfortunately for Los Canaleros -- the canal men -- that and 190 rubles will get you a beer in Sochi.

Just know a ruble's worth just under 2¢ right now, so have a night.

 

The Panamanian contingent weren't left out in that respect.

After all, this was the first time ever that their anthem was heard in a World Cup game, and their first half effort was as good as the Panamanian supporters at the Fisht Olympic Stadium, who outnumbered Belgians attending the match by about 4-to-1.

Eden Hazard, Kevin de Bruyne, and Romelu Lukaku had made themselves known in the first 45. Panama’s captain, Roman Torres was Los Canaleros' shining light as his crew did well to keep the match scoreless through to the intermission.

But Jedi mind tricks only last for so long.

 

The Red Devils ultimately got down to business in the second half.

It took only two minutes for Belgium to score the first goal, when Dries Mertens hammered a powerful long-range volley as Panama’s defense fell apart:

Then, the Belgians started putting on the sorta display their fans came to see in the 69th minute.

De Bruyne assisted Lukaku on a brilliant play:

 

Six minutes later, Lukaku struck again.

After a boss counterattack, Hazard assisted him to wrap up a predestined three points:

 

Mertens was Man of the Match, as Belgium and its gift to the world -- the Smurfs -- celebrated into the night with change to spare.