Barcelona Rips Celtic to Shreds
In dice, rolling a seven means the don't pass play is out of luck.
And craps is probably the mildest description being tossed around in Glasgow right now.
Barcelona absolutely dumped on Celtic in the Champions League group stage, flushing them, 7-0.
It was enough to make some wonder how the Scottish side even got in this competition. Have the super-clubs pulled that far away from the pack?
Frankly, very few can compete against Barça tête-à-tête -- saying pied-à-pied woulda been cool, but it gets clumsy in translation -- and sadly, Celtic isn't one of them.
Barcelona's recently bleached wizard, Lionel Messi, gave a hint of things to come when he scored three minutes into it:
What in the name of adidas were the Hoops doing, leaving the little dude and his thunderous left instep as open as that? Helen Keller could've directed that one in for him.
Or even Cheech.
Having set the match's tone, Messi set about staging a one-man pile-on:
Even fake towheads have more fun.
Neymar soon joined the party to tally the Catalans’ third:
Dude's deservedly the right choice to be leading Brazil.
Andrés Iniesta usually assists on goals, but on this field of scoring fertility, he just couldn't help himself helping himself:
That's as sweet a connection as you'll ever see. Questions will be asked about that one back in Thistledom, too.
-- the other one -- worked its magic, and Messi got his hatter.
What else does Barça need?
The pipes will be taking requests for dirges.