Waive Goodbye: Ryan Kesler Demanded a Parade, Not a Trade
The swirl around whether Ryan Kesler threw a Tony Tanti at the start of the season is understandable in a Canadian market that has a passing interest in hockey and a proud record of Stanley Cup success.
But beyond all the hand-wringing and goatee growing, lies the truth. And it is this:
Ryan Kesler did not demand a trade. He demanded a parade.
"It's all been a colossal misunderstanding," confirmed GM Mike Gillis. "During training camp, Ryan felt with AV ousted, Torts coming on board, and David Booth set to win a Hart Trophy that we should be booking Robson Street for June and buying the ticker tape.
"He also approached myself and Laurence Gilman prior to the Olympic break and made a similar request regarding a Team USA victory. He wanted us prepared for when the city lined the streets to gaze upon his gold medal."
History shows the USA fell short of consummation, shooting blanks during the climax of the Olympic tinderbox. And with a record befitting a puny eighth seed, the Canucks are more likely to bring 'Occupy' back to Vancouver than a Stanley Cup.
Can Kesler's desire for a parade be met?
"We have a fallback plan," assured Gillis. "Gay Pride in August. That's how we met Manny Malhotra's request back in 2012."