To the Fore: Canucks Miss Playoffs, Go On to Play Masters
The Vancouver Canucks may have finally been eliminated from this year's Stanley Cup chase with their 3-0 shank against Anaheim, but they've assured their supporters they'll maintain their drive.
Yes, Torts' tankers are on their way to Augusta for a tilt at the Masters. And, rather than question their team's commitment to hockey, many in the Nux Nation of fans believe the trip was long overdue.
"After three years, they've finally got it right," said Cloverdale handymaniac, Nick Orford. "Those pitiful first round playoff exits against LA and San José -- they didn't allow enough time to really hone the golf swing. Missing the playoffs altogether, with three games still remaining, that's the way to prepare for Amen Corner."
Cory McBain -- married to all of Vancouver's Real Housewives -- goes as far as to say the team has been breaking in clubs on the ice:
"I'm fairly positive Alex Edler was using a five wood during the meltdown against the Islanders. Or maybe it was a one iron? Either way, he was definitely wearing plus fours with his skates out there."
So, can all the hockey incompetence translate to golfing greatness? Do the Canucks have a shot at a green (and blue) jacket? Andrew Stahling, a sports betting savant from North Van, thinks so:
"Anyone can win it -- Mickelson, Scott, McIlroy, the Edmonton Oilers. Of course, they'll have to get past Bob Barker first..."