The Kids Are Alright: Maple Leafs Hire Fifteen-Year-Old Assistant Coach

When the Toronto Maple Leafs hired 28-year-old former Subway sandwich artist Kyle Dubas, reactions ranged between 'The revolution has begun' and 'Why wouldn't they simply get Jonah Hill?'

After their latest appointment to the bench, opinion may start skewing towards the latter.

President Brendan Shanahan announced today the Leafs have brought in a new assistant coach to Randy Carlyle's staff -- fifteen-year-old Matthew Wilson of the Greater Toronto Hockey League (Midget level).

"Matt is one of the best hockey minds around," said Shanahan. "The performances of his teams in NHL 14 speak for themselves."

What role do you see the kid playing?

"He's gonna help with our defense, no question. The dyslexic chimpanzee we hired to handle the D last year didn't work out; we know that. So we wanted to get younger. And more ... human."

Any drawbacks to hiring someone so young?

"None we can't work around. Matt has chess club on Wednesday nights and a paper route on Fridays. And Mrs Wilson has indicated to us that he must be in bed by ten on road trips or else she'll ground the entire team."

NHL training camps open 18 September. School goes back two weeks earlier.