Leafs in Leafian Form as They Keep Leafing It Up

Among the great philosophical questions of all time -- falling trees and sounds, bears and the woods, popes and Catholicism -- there's a special place for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

As in, What were you expecting? It's the Leafs!

While their Cup drought only reaches back to 1967, their perfection of futility has morphed them into hockey's version of Cubness, major league baseball's punchline since 1908. Like their black-cloud brethren, the Leafs literally invent ways to drive a skate through their fans' emotional hearts.

Lately, in a tour de force of Leafitude, they've outdone themselves. After a run-of-the-mill 2-1 loss in front of the home fans on Fri 14 Nov, Toronto hit the road. Better stated, the road hit them:

• They prepared for it by dropping a 2-1 overtime decision at home to the Penguins; so
• They were down to speed in their 6-2 defeat in Buffalo; by which
• They devolved sufficiently to lose, 9-2, to Nashville back in TO.

 

A dose of Leafness, for whatever ails the other team.

Predictably, the incessant rock-turning for answers has begun. So have the whispers, to which Cody Franson responded to a Globe & Mail reporter in kind:

It's not just finding a top-line center and defenseman. It's finding ones who won't turn into Leafs, as it were, when they become Leafs.

Toronto could use a Filip Forsberg, who's been destined for stardom from the time he arrived in the NHL. Or a Seth Jones -- Popeye's kid -- who will be Shea Weber 2.0 for as long as the Preds can afford to pay him. Both were pivotal in destroying the Leafs last night.

Should they just go total Leaf this season and get in the lottery for consensus 2015 top pick Connor McDavid? He seems like Leaf material:

Even the Grape One wondered what the phenom was doing out there:

 

And speaking of, who else but Don Cherry would come up with anything but this theory to cure Leafness:

 

Don't know about the Swinn and the Fede he mentioned, but his solution didn't do too much for the cause in all those years before the NHL teams lured all those Europeans across the pond for one reason or another. And by the way, regards from Mats Sundin.

However, what happens if GM Dave Nonis takes Cherry's advice, does a Blue Jays, goes total hoser, and still Leafs it up?

What else? And start with that Sicamous glider himself, Franson.