Grandparents Claim the LA Kings Have Foiled Their Sex Life

Published on 26-Jul-2014 by Raoul Duke
NHL / NHL Daily Update

Grandparents Claim the LA Kings Have Foiled Their Sex Life

The Los Angeles Kings have been wildly successful on the ice in recent years, winning two of the past three Stanley Cups.

However, off the ice, they've failed to bring the sexy back.

In fact, it's quite the opposite, as the organization is apparently ruining libidos far and wide.

According to TMZ, that renowned standard bearer for journalistic integrity, a couple in California is suing the organization for an incident that occurred at the LA Kings Icetown Sports Center. It seems that Trina and Dino Adam were enjoyed their granddaughters birthday party when an errant puck from the nearby ice rink struck Trina in the head, rendering her unconscious at the scene.

OK. That can hurt. Numerous NHL players can attest to it.

After her incident, as Trina has since suffered from a variety of maladies, including nausea, headaches, mood swings and memory loss. However, one unfortunate byproduct of the injury concerns the couple’s sex life, or lack thereof.

As part of the lawsuit, Dino Adam is alleging that collateral damage due to this sordid affair has entered the bedroom, as he claims to have “lost enjoyment of sexual relations” with his wife.

Of course, it's unclear just how prolific the Adams' sex lives were prior to the birthday party mishap, but it appears that fun and desire have been removed from the typically pleasant extracurricular activity.

Regardless of the merit of this particular lawsuit, it is unfortunate that the Kings would so flagrantly set out to destroy the perfectly healthy sex lives of a portion of their fan base. Clearly, there's some perverse agenda at play here, and the Kings seem to believe that their success on the ice will serve as a distraction while this dastardly plot unfolds.

Well, their clever ruse has been exposed at long last. Finally, hockey fans who are lucky enough to have a partner willing to be intimate can continue to enjoy sex, or the physical act of love, or coitus.

When performed adequately, it can be a natural, zesty enterprise.

Table 'dailypla_database.metrics_robots' doesn't exist