Graci-Ice: NHL Has No Plans to Expand ... Except to Mexico

Published on 30-Aug-2014 by Xavier McSpaniel
NHL / NHL Daily Opinion

Graci-Ice: NHL Has No Plans to Expand ... Except to Mexico

On Wednesday, the NHL swore blind there would be no expansion teams brought into the league for a good while.

It appears a good while is somewhere in the vicinity of seventy-two hours.

Three days after NHL deputy commissioner Bill Daly took a polygraph with The Associated Press, stating "there is no plan moving forward in terms of expansion", commissioner Gary Bettman today announced that Mexico would be home for the league's 31st team in 2015.

The new squad, known as the Tijuana Tortillas, will draw their roster from the thriving domestic competition -- La Nacional Burrrrito -- and a special draft of current NHLers who have no outstanding criminal record over the border. Mexican hockey legend, Chris Kelo, will also suit up.

"We're very excited about this new direction," said Bettman, wearing a sombrero and eating a chalupa. "Apart from soccer, we'll have the market all to ourselves."

"The unequivocal prosperity of the Sun Belt teams shows there is an appetite for our game in the warm climes. With our new Mexican team, we anticipate immediate success: big crowds, cartel sponsors and a huge sales spike in bottled water."

The last NHL expansion was the 2000-01 season, when the Minnesota Wild and Columbus Blue Jackets came into being. The Tortillas will play in the Western Conference, bringing the number of franchises to quince.

Table 'dailypla_database.metrics_robots' doesn't exist