Texans' Season Goes Up in Smoke

Published on 24-Oct-2013 by bpfiester
Football - NFL / NFL Daily Review

NFL considering using a new ball next season.

On Monday, the day after the Houston Texans' narrow loss to the undefeated Kansas City Chiefs, it was reported that they released three players -- DE Sam Montgomery, RB Cierre Wood, and OLB Willie Jefferson -- for smoking marijuana at the team hotel. 

On Tuesday, the agent for Montgomery denied that is why they were released, which led to speculation that he may file a grievance with the Players Association. He claimed the players were smoking a cigar and not marijuana. That's probably somewhat true, but chances are they weren’t released for smoking Cuban cigars, which are still illegal. Chances are the cigar the teammates were sharing was filled with high-grade Maui Wowie, Purple Cush, or Northern Lights.

Instead of going through the motions of filing legal paperwork to get them back on a team that clearly doesn't tolerate the use of a plant that grows freely in nature, this trio's agents should contact the Denver Broncos and Seattle Seahawks and try to get contracts there. 

Why the Broncos and Seahawks, you ask?

Well, not only are these two of the best teams in football, but marijuana is essentially legal in both Colorado and Washington, thanks to voter-approved initiatives last November. Earlier this week, Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper -- I just wanted to say that out loud! -- signed six marijuana related bills making Colorado the de facto 'New Amsterdam.' (And yes, I'm aware that was the name for New York City before the English kicked the Dutch out of there. Ironically, these days, the Big Apple still seems to resemble the original Amsterdam more than the original York.)

Come to think of it, both the Broncos and Seahawks could see a surge of free agents with these new cannabis-friendly laws.  The number of marijuana-related arrests and off-the-field stories in the NFL has become more prevelant, and until the federal government gets on board with what the majority of the American people want, players are going to have to find an outlet; it's highly unlikely we'll see a decline in marijuana-related issues for professional athletes. Just ask Tim Lincecum, although he can afford anything he wants now!

Although marijuana remains illegal on the federal level, the two initiatives in Colorado and Washington are considered the stepping stones to its full legalization in the United States. Until that happens, professional sports leagues can continue to hold athletes to a 'higher' standard of conduct, because -- yes, Charles Barkley -- “they are role models!”

But one thing is certain: marijuana will never be considered a performance-enhancing drug. It amplifies noise, tastes, appetite, and some sensations, but if somebody was playing under the influence of Mary Jane during a game, it would be completely obvious. You know, the red, watery eyes; the dazed and confused smile; and the unshaven, frazzled hair look?

An outfielder might not even know a baseball sailed over his head into the stands for a home run. He’d be too busy staring at the grass, watching each individual blade blow in the wind. A golfer would be unusually attentive towards his opponent, offering up praise and adoration like “Nice putt, maannn!”

So as the Houston Texans' season continues to unravel, their brass have shown they'll not tolerate players violating team rules, even if they just lost both starting RB’s to injury and their depth chart is about as deep as those plastic pools you buy at Toys R Us’ for $10.

Remember the Alamo, kids, and don’t mess with Texas!

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