Quarterback Sneak: Joe Flacco Attends Birth of Son, Cardboard Cutout Flacco Beats Browns

It appears Joe Flacco did not miss the birth of his child, after all.

Multiple media outlets yesterday reported the Baltimore QB, fire-sale starter, and former speech vetter for Ray Lewis, had eschewed the arrival of mini-Flacco in favour of turning out against Cleveland. A Ravens insider, however, has now revealed to The Daily Player a different version of events, one that may set a precedent for other players faced with the dilemma of important life events crashing a date with inferior opposition:

"Joe was [at the birth] alright. We didn't want him to miss out on that. So we put a life-size cardboard cutout of him out there against the Browns."

"Cardboard Joe did a good job."

Two-dimensional Flacco threw for 211 yards with one touchdown and no interceptions. He had a quarterback rating of 94.4.

"He controlled the tempo, made good decisions. Showed more mobility than the real Joe, in actual fact."

When queried as to why the Ravens didn't turn to their back-up, Tyrod Taylor, it was revealed he, too, had pressing personal matters:

"Tyrod was painting his house. He felt this was the perfect weekend to get it done, prior to the good weather ending.

"I said I'd give him a hand, but Kinko's didn't have my cutout ready in time."

Is this a strategy the Ravens would use again? 

"Against a few teams ... Oakland, the Jets ...Tampa Bay, for sure. Against Jacksonville, I think we'd just stay away and let them lose the game on their own."         

The team source confirmed Flacco has named his son Anquan Boldin Flacco in hope he'll be suiting up for next week's tilt against Houston.