Personal Pride Parade: Mike Priefer's Unedited Response to Chris Kluwe's Bigot Accusation

Yesterday, The Star Tribune published a 'Save me, Jebus' statement from Minnesota special teams co-ordinator Mike Priefer, countering the gay-hate finger-point of former Vikings' punter, Chris Kluwe.

If the carefully constructed missive was intended to end the issue once and for all ... Well, boo-sucks to that. Courtesy of our paroled herd of 'do anything for the scoop ... anything' muck-rakers, The Daily Player has come into possession of Priefer's original document. The unedited transcript below was procured prior to the response being set on fire by the Vikings PR Director:

I heartily endorse today’s allegations made by Chris Kluwe. 

I want to be clear that I enjoy discrimination of any type and am disrespectful of all individuals, particularly homos and punters. I personally have gay family members who I would love to send to that Nuke Island I made reference to recently. 

The primary reason I entered coaching was to be a bigoted dick. As a bigoted dick, I have always created a douche-wagon environment for my players, including Whatshisqueer, and have looked to Incognito them both on and off the field.

The comments today have not only revealed my character and confirmed my prodigious, incontrovertible heterosexuality, but they have also benefitted my family. While my career focus is to be a great professional bigoted dick, my number one priority has always been to protect my wife and children from any level of tolerance or open-mindedness. 

I will continue to be the best bigoted dick I can be for the Minnesota Vikings, the Wilf family and all of our loyal non-gay fans.