Patriots and Falcons Cruise to the Super Bowl

Is there really this much disparity in the NFL?

Yet again, chalk reigned supreme to the point of being a no-brainer in the AFC and NFC championship games.

There was only one other wager that would've superseded it:

Roger Goodell showing up in Foxboro to toss a trophy to Robert Kraft, who'd clearly extended his pre-functioning all through the game:

You're excused, dude. We've all been there.

The Patriots' owner had an easy reason to enjoy pleasures of the grain. His crew took this game by the throat from the start and not only won, but covered:

Kudos to Chris Hogan, too, for becoming the poster boy for every jock who's had a pro door slammed in his face more than once. Maybe Bill Belichick's a villain -- OK, of course he's a villain -- but dude clearly identifies with the experience, having himself been canned by übervillain Art Modell.

And what of the mega-villain?

Goodell was in the heart of Georgia, where the Falcons totally dismantled what was left of the Green Bay Packers:

Kraft's libation of choice was probably more fun.

Maybe the official drink of Super Bowl LI should be a White Russian.

And that's as far down this particular theme as we're gonna go.