NFL Week 4: Stock Up, Stock Down

The Apocalypse is upon us.

How do I know?

The Cowboys are winning and the Patriots and Saints are getting ka-rushed.

Fasten your seatbelts. Here comes the NFL Stock Up, Stock Down for Week 4

Stock Up: Kansas City Chiefs ... So, the second most exciting team in town these days ran the Patriots right off the field Monday night. New England played so badly, you almost felt sorry for them. Almost. To say Tom Brady's seeing red is an understatement.

Stock Down: The Patriots ... Can someone tell me where the real Pats are holed up? Those dudes on the field last night looked like Bruce's Boys. Actually, I can't even say that because Tampa Bay did something the Pats didn't do. Win.

Stock Up: Dallas Cowboys ... Who are these guys? Seriously, for the first time in forever, this looks like a complete team. They're throwing and running effectively and they play good defense. These are not your big brother's Dallas Cowboys. Then again, it's only Week 4. They have time to be your Dallas Cowboys again.



Stock Up: Minnesota Vikings ... No Adrian Peterson and the starting QB gets hurt, but it's no problem for the Vikes. This squad that stereotypes Scandinavian warriors had no problem taking it to the Atlanta Falcons.Teddy Bridgewater looked comfortable out there, which surely allowed fans to breathe a sigh of relief that he's not the next Geno Smith.

Stock Down: Kurt Cousins ... Whoa! What's there to say about his performance Thursday night other than turrible, to use a Charles Barkley term. And this dude is supposed to better than RG3? Three interceptions in one quarter is cause to be examined for color blindness. Another game like that and the media will refuse to say his name, too.

Stock Up: The FCC ... Sure, this could be a case of piling on, but if anyone deserves it, the league poobahs are first in line. The agency chairman couldn't have said it any better:

It’s a simple fact: the federal government should not be party to sports teams keeping their fans from viewing the games — period.

Stock Waayyyy Down: The NFC South ... Remember when this division used to be good? The Falcons, Saints, and Panthers all lost by double digits this weekend. Your only winner? Bruce's Boys! And to think just a week earlier, they got the pewter pounded out of them by Atlanta. Maybe the blackout rule isn't all bad, at that.