NFL Snark Rankings: Week 7

“I get paid weekly. That’s exactly how I’m paid. Another day, another dollar.” ~ Wynn Stewart

After watching the Jaguars eke out six points at home against the Chargers, it’s clear this should be their theme song for 2013. Going through the motions simply to collect a paycheck is disrespectful, not only to the fans of Northern Florida, but to the greats of the game that paved the way for an expansion team to be awarded to that fair city. 

Besides, The Jags should be auditioning for a new role in Los Angeles. After their season, the NFL might consider contraction!

Week 7 featured some upsets, particularly in the AFC East, and the main story line after Sunday’s contests was about the atrocious officiating in the Jets-Patriots game, then again during the Broncos-Colts game, and finally, after the MNF game where one official ruled Vikings return man Marcus Sherels down even though nobody touched him. Sherels fumbled the ball and the Giants recovered, yet the refs gave the ball back to Minnesota. Hey, NFL, did you hire some of the scab refs from last year's strike?

1. Jacksonville Jaguars – These dudes made Ryan Matthews look like the second coming of Ladainian Tomlinson. QB Chad Henne threw for 300+ yards but no TD’s, and rookie Mike Brown out of Liberty -- do they have a 'wing and a prayer' offense? -- had five catches for 120 yards.  Reports had Cecil Shorts doubtful for this game, yet he played and had a decent game, but I benched him on my fantasy team. Maurice Jones-Drew is on my league’s 'Can’t Cut' list. I need to talk to the league commissioner about that. Actually, I need to talk to myself first. Why do I have two Jaguars players on my team?
2. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Now, this is why the Buccos signed Vincent Jackson to a huge free agent contract!  Kudos for hanging with the Falcons in Atlanta; however, that team is only one loss away from competing for this list.  A home game against the Bills in Week 14 may be the best chance for Bruce's Boys to register their first win of the season. Although, if they go into that game 0-13, nobody will give them a chance! Is it possible two teams could go winless this season?
3. Minnesota Vikings – That was just a stellar MNF game, wasn’t it? Deciding to start Josh Freeman on the road in New York was probably not the best idea for Leslie Frazier. While we’re at it, Frazier’s name should be put on the hot seat list, as the Vikings looked terrible in every aspect of American football. It’s actually amazing that we’re almost halfway through the season, and no coach has been fired yet! Frazier could break the seal, as it were. The Vikes' only offensive production came on an 86-yard punt return. AP was a non-factor. Greg Jennings probably misses having Aaron Rodgers throw him the ball these days. Honestly, I don’t see a winnable game the rest of the year. Maybe when Minnesota hosts the Eagles in Week 15, when they're down to either Tim Tebow or a stadium security guard as their only QB options, but that’s it. Where did it all go wrong, Norsemen?
4. New York Giants – Not that the G-men's night was much better, as Eli Manning only threw for 200 yards. At least his passes were all caught by teammates, for once! Eli also continued to make Rueben Randle look like the second coming of Amani Toomer! If it wasn’t for New York's field goal kicker and defense -- and the fact the Vikings have no clue what they’re doing at the QB spot -- this one may not have made it to the win column. Take ugly victories when you can get them, because right now, those look to be the only option. With a fairly light schedule over the next several weeks, maybe the G-men can get some momentum in time to host the Seahawks in Week 15. They'll need it!
5. St Louis Rams – What do we have here? A new contender? The Rams had a tough game Sunday, losing to the Panthers, 30-15, but also losing QB Sam Bradford for the remainder of the year with a torn ACL. The Rams gave Carolina four first downs on penalties alone. DE Chris Long was ejected as a consequence resulting from one of five personal foul walkoffs. Panthers WR Steve Smith was not a happy camper after the game, calling out Rams CB Janoris Jenkins for talking trash. That’s like calling the kettle black, don’t you think Steve-a-rino?!

It’s always nice to see a new face, and heading into the Week 8 games, there are some possibilities of even more fresh meat as the Panthers have a trap game in Tampa Bay on Thursday night, which are not usually crisply played by any team.  Cleveland travels to Kansas City and has a good chance at cracking the Top 5 again before they went on an improbable 3-0 run to temporary respectability! 

The Jaguars host the 49ers this weekend, so look for them to remain on top. Remember what I said a couple weeks back, I don’t anticipate the Jaguars relinquishing their throne at all this year!