NFL Snark Rankings: Week 11

Now, that's the Jacksonville Jaguars team we’ve grown to love this season!

They made Carson Palmer look like Dan Fouts and Michael Floyd like Jerry Rice, wearing uniforms that resemble something out of the Arena League.

Glad to see the Jags back to their usual style of football one week after pulling out a miracle win over the Titans.

Forget for a second that there were two heavyweight bouts featuring the 49ers and Saints along with the Chiefs and Broncos. The real matchup we couldn’t wait to see was Atlanta at Tampa Bay, with the Redskins at Eagles coming in a close second. There were so many implications in both those games that could affect the Snark Rankings positively, or negatively; is that a double entendre?

It’s like Christmas today. You just have to wake up in the morning and be surprised!

1. Jacksonville Jaguars – Apparently home games are not an advantage for this team, even if 59,862 people paid for a ticket. Could it be that half of them came dressed as empty seats? They made no real threat of a scoring drive in the second half, as the farthest the Jags reached was the Cardinals' 42-yard line, which resulted in a punt. I guess if you draft a punter in the third round -- ahead of Russell Wilson -- you may as well show him off. A 59-yard field goal is almost automatic in the NFL these days, and the Jags' longest time of possession was 3:02, so a field goal attempt would’ve really gotten the crowd into this game. You could've just felt the passion! Passion for Tim Tebow. Did the crowd pass the hat for that ad in the local fishwrap?
2. Houston Texans – Losing to the Raiders at home, and you will skyrocket up the Snark Rankings. Houston fans now must know what Cleveland fans feel like. Without the Cuyahoga River, of course. At least the Rockets are above .500 and a legitimate contender; otherwise, it’s going to be a long winter. I highly doubt the exploits of the Astros during the Hot Stove League will do anything to light a fire under Houston sports fans, unless it's a Cuyahoga fire. The bright spot for that fair city could be Craig Biggio's and Jeff Bagwell’s election to the Hall-of-Fame in January, but that's a big if based upon the past couple of elections, and the hype and excitement would likely only last one day; the results are announced on Wed 8 Jan. Other than that, Texans fans should start paying attention to SEC football and figuring out who they want with the second pick. How about bringing the hometown kid, Johnny Manziel, aboard?
3. Atlanta Falcons – The results of their horrible loss to Bruce's Boys had ramifications felt across the Milky Way.  Not only do we have a new contender holding down the 3-spot, but Atlanta caused Tampa Bay to slide out of the Top 5. That’s right, things have turned around dramatically in the greater metropolitan St Petersburg area, just as the sky is falling in Atlanta. After the Falcons got blown out at home by the Seahawks in Week 10, I gave them the benefit of the doubt, since Seattle is on track for getting the No 1 overall seed in the NFC. However, losing 41-28 to the lowly Buccaneers is rock bottom for Falcons fans, the most disappointing team in the NFL this season.
4. Minnesota Vikings – Is it a coincidence that the Seahawks have played all four teams in the Snark Rankings this year? Who made up their schedule? Alabama? (Good luck with those Noogies, Tidesters!) That helped get Seattle to 10-1 no doubt, especially when Minnesota’s plan was to let Christian Ponder manage the game. Big mistake. The INT Ponder threw to Walter Thurmond was one of the worst passes I’ve seen thrown in a professional game, and I’m 37 years old. Adrian Peterson made little effort to catch it, mainly because it went to a different area code. Is Josh Freeman on the practice squad? Why sign him if they’re not going to play him? Was Greg Schiano that right about him? Percy Harvin took shots at the Vikings' offensive game plan during the week, and after watching this disaster, it's clear he was merely stating facts about his former team, not trash talking. The Vikes had better hope Teddy Bridgewater is a legit NFL QB, because Jacksonville and Houston are in line ahead of them. Next week, they travel to Green Bay, where the Pack's QB situation is also unsettled due to Aaron Rodgers injury. Will the Norsemen take advantage of it, or will they unleash Ragnarök and put fans out of their misery?
5. Washington Redskins – So three of last year’s NFC playoff teams find themselves atop the Snark Rankings.  Oh, how quickly things can change in the NFL, where the ghost of Pete Rozelle smiles every time an 8-8 record is registered! Any given Sunday, you know. RGIII has seriously regressed, and it’s difficult to tell if it’s physical, mental, coaching, psychosomatic, Art Briles not calling the plays, or a combination of all the above. The professional football team based in the District of Columbia (politically correct way of saying Redskins) hosts the San Francisco 49ers on Monday Night Football. Their schedule doesn’t get easier the rest of the way, so look for Washington to get a high draft pick. May I suggest addressing the defensive side of the ball? The Redskins rank 26th in rushing yards allowed and 19th in passing yards allowed. There’s your issue.

Week 12 provides a few opportunities for teams to once again jockey for position, as the Jaguars face the Texans and the Titans travel to Oakland. Don’t expect too many changes near the top, however, as the Falcons host the Saints on Thursday night.  Minnesota has a chance to salvage, but at this point, what good would that do? All the teams on this list should be focused on improving their draft position, as 2014 is shaping up to be quite a class.