NFL Draft Analyst Sounds Like Junior High Dance Chaperone

Published on 17-Feb-2014 by Stacey Mickles

Football - NFL    NFL Daily Update

Share this article

NFL Draft Analyst Sounds Like Junior High Dance Chaperone

The NFL is button-down vanilla enough, but some of its hangers-on are insufferable.

Actually, most are insufferable. It's the level of annoyance that separates the tar from the gunk.

Take media draft analyst Nolan Nawrocki. Who? Exactly. Let's just say if he had either a relative at Pro Football Weekly or compromising photos of a senior executive there, it wouldn't be a surprise to find that's how he got someone to publish his hall-monitor screeds.

The months before NFL draft time offer prime trolling opportunities, and thus Nawrocki has crawled out from under his off-season rock to spew senseless criticisms in hopes that everyone else at least spells his name right.

Well, we did. We're good like that.

Normally, we wouldn't give Nawrocki's bilge the time of day, but he outdid himself recently by authoring a shallow and meaningless report masquerading as commentary about some of the more prominent college players who might be called in the early rounds this spring.

Let's take a look at a few of his easier targets and then step back to consider his incompetence:

  • Johnny Manziel, QB Texas A&M ... Suspect intangibles -- not a leader by example or known to inspire by his words. Carries a sense of entitlement and prima-donna arrogance seeking out the bright lights of Hollywood. Is known to party too much and is drawn to all the trappings of the game. ... Has defied the odds and proven to be a great college-system quarterback, but still must prove he is willing to work to be great, adjust his hard-partying, Hollywood lifestyle and be able to inspire his teammates by more than his playmaking ability.

Get real. Manziel extends plays and can finish them with an assortment of touch passes. Kind of like Broadway Joe Namath did. And Manziel is still in the developmental stages when compared to Namath's partying. In fact, Manziel isn't even close to former Green Bay Packer Max McGee, who caught the winning touchdown pass from Bart Starr in the first Super Bowl. Not bad, considering he did it with a hangover. Other examples abound. The hard fact is they still got the job done, as Manziel is most likely to do.

  • Jadeveon Clowney, LB South Carolina ... Lacks discipline on and off the field and has had to be managed closely since he arrived on campus. Needs to learn what it means to be a pro. Plays in spurts and is too much of a flash player -- does not consistently dominate like he could. Is still immature and finding his way -- too much of a follower.

"Needs to learn what it means to be a pro?" Like what? Lacing ladies' drinks like Darren Sharper? Going socially neanderthal like Richie Incognito? Or maybe achieving all-Pro criminality like serial cement-head Aaron Hernandez? Those dudes passed every damn pre-draft psycho-babble test the NFL smugly gives, just like Clowney will. They also did their jobs, which looks like that's all the NFL really cares about. And the league is all about playing in spurts, just like God and Nick Saban intended.

  • Colt Lyeria, TE Oregon ... Overly emotional and prone to outbursts following a dysfunctional childhood that offered little direction and much confusion related to a divorce. Not a disciplined team player. ... Has overcome a lot of adversity stemming back to his youth and defied the odds to become an impactful performer. Talent grades could garner interest in the second round, but past history could easily knock him down several rounds and off many draft boards.

First, a side note. Nawrocki's bio says he went to Illinois. That's an excellent university, so what was he doing besides playing football there? What, exactly, is "past history" besides an oxymoron? All history, by definition, is in the past! And this dude claims to be a journalist? He's just another dumb jock who thinks he is.

Does being "overly emotional and prone to outbursts" infer inferior performance in the NFL. Let's ask Richard Sherman how that's worked out for him. Or perhaps we should ask a hothead like this ne'er do well:

And then there's the most recent ultimate in dysfunction:

Lewis came from a broken home, like Lyerla. That's all it takes to be dysfunctional, according to Nawrocki. Yes, kids with that sort of background can sail close to the wind at times; both Lewis and Lyerla have. But Lewis proved that's too early to give up on someone, and Lyerla has the right to make the same statement by his actions.

What's dysfunctional is a professional not doing his job. In journalism, it's called research and relevance.

Instead, Nawrocki would rather be just another self-promoting troll, substituting myopic political correctness for analysis.

What a jerk.

Click on a photo to enlarge.