LA Venues to NFL: Not in Our House!

It's not always easy being a carpetbagger.

Especially one trying to set up shop in laid-back Los Angeles.

And that would be the same LA that collectively yawned when two NFL franchises toddled outa town in 1994.

It's not that there aren't pro football fans in the nation's second-largest metro area. Hell, LA has enough varied citizen interests to support anything. As long as it's not a hassle.

What's become abundantly clear in the here-&-now is that the NFL excels in creating hassles. The league must draw its inspiration from Millwall supporters. Just substitute NFL into the chant:

Well, it seems not too many local authorities in the LA area are included in that group of no one. Perhaps they're all fans of John Oliver's Last Week Tonight:

Could be why the league isn't getting much love in finding a temporary venue for one of its itchy franchises while a new palace goes up.

The odds of at least one 1%er getting his way in LA are beyond favorable, because that's the way of the world for 1%ers who serve as the cynical keepers of sports fans' loyalties. Even so, the taxpayers there would be well served to heed Austin Power's ominous pairing of ultimate fears:

And, of course, that cabbage will have been grown in the taxpayers' own gardens.