Guaranteed Money: Four Likely Suspects in the Ed Reed $50K Burglary

Published on 14-Feb-2014 by Xavier McSpaniel

Football - NFL    NFL Daily Opinion

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Guaranteed Money: Four Likely Suspects in the Ed Reed $50K Burglary

Ed Reed is a free agent safety. The free part is apt. Safety ... not so much.

The future Hall of Famer withdrew $50,000 from the Bank of It'll Be Fine on The Front Seat of the Car with the intention of transferring it to the Bank of No Really It'll Be Fine. Then, shock horror, it was pilfered by person or persons unknown.

The report immediately prompted The Daily Player's crack CSI unit to kick into high gear. Who could've done it? Who had motive and opportunity? When would Ed Reed next be parking his Audi in the vicinity of the office?

After much deliberation with a Magic 8-Ball, here's the list of suspects that made their line-up:   

The Legion of Boom: Their robbery credentials were well established with 28 picks during the '13-'14 regular season. Between  vomiting bouts, Peyton Manning would be certain to testify for the prosecution:

Peyton Puke

Rex Ryan: Those lap-band surgeries are not cheap. And that excursion to Dave and Buster's left him perilously out of pocket.

The New York Yankees: Tanaka's contract and bribing the corpse of Derek Jeter to stay on for one more shill has left a hefty hole in the Steinbrenner coffers. 

Tim Tebow: Thou shalt not steal? Not when you're a bigger NFL pariah than Gregg Williams.