Gay Abandon: Oprah Bails on Michael Sam Show, Will Do 'Hard Knocks' Instead

Published on 17-May-2014 by Xavier McSpaniel
Football - NFL / NFL Daily Update

Gay Abandon: Oprah Bails on Michael Sam Show, Will Do 'Hard Knocks' Instead

Two days after announcing it was going to kill Michael Sam's NFL career before it could begin, the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) has decided to give him a shot, after all.

"After careful consideration and discussion with the St. Louis Rams, 'The Untitled Michael Sam Project' has been postponed, allowing Michael the best opportunity to achieve his dreams of making the team," Oprah minion Erik Logan said today. "OWN is about elevating and empowering people to achieve their best. It's clear that we, along with the world, recognize the opportunity that Michael has in this moment. We will continue to support him in his journey to earn a spot playing for the Rams."

Sam's agent, Cameron Weiss, fought through tears and visions of fading dollar signs to also deliver a statement:

"After today's meeting with the Rams, we felt it is best to postpone the project," he sniffed. "This will allow for Michael to have total focus on football, and will ensure no distractions to his teammates. Everybody involved remains committed to this project ..."

Well, everyone but Oprah. The word from Logan is she now has a different NFL show in her sights:

'Hard Knocks'.

"Oprah feels she can bring some new elements to the program -- makeovers, group hugs, guides to guarantee great sex. A new name -- perhaps Butt Pats or Shower Buddies. She's even thinking of having Oprah's Book Club in the locker room.

"A few guys might have to learn to read first."

A decision has yet to be made regarding which club will draw the short straw. May we suggest the team that throws Terrell Owens a bone:

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