Denver Faxed Up; Dumervil Signs with Ravens

Published on 24-Mar-2013 by Davis McGregor
Football - NFL / NFL Daily Update

Bronco fax machine holds press conference to discuss Elvis leaving

After losing one of your best players on defense due to a fax machine issue, there’s only one thing to do.

Rent the movie Office Space and replay that movie on the machine that screwed you over.

Denver's low-tech blunder has got to be the stupidest reason to date for a player leaving a team. (But the off-season is only halfway through; time remains for it to be topped! As corporately cumbersome as the NFL has become, it's quite possible.)  At least the Broncos still had the option to re-sign Elvis Dumerville for a year. Or at least they did until the Super Bowl champion Ravens picked him up to the tune of a cushy 5-year, $35million dollar salary.

Look on the bright side, Bronco fans, while you no longer have a dominant pass rusher, at least your team now has an extra $12million a year to spend. They might want to consider heading over to Staples and splurging on the best fax machine cap money can buy.

Or they and the rest of the league could join the 21st century. Fax machines are probably on display at the Smithsonian by now.

After Denver's office upgrade, they should take whatever money they have left over and throw it at Dwight Freeney.

The Broncos have already pissed off its fan base with this fax-up, so why not at least mollify their franchise quarterback and throw him a bone? Bringing over Manning’s former teammate could not only re-stabilize the Denver pass rush but could also allow Peyton and Dwight to be all buddy-buddy again.

Elvis has left the building. And there’s nothing the Denver front office can do about it anymore.

And isn't it only fitting that the Ravens will be visiting Denver this coming season?

An Elvis reunion concert at Mile High. One show Peyton might wish he didn't have to see.

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