Paranoia Strikes the Sooners!

In what seems to be a severe case of 1984 police-state paranoia, the Okalahoma Sooners have "elected to self-report three players for getting more food at a graduation banquet than they should have" according to Jake Trotter of ESPN.com.

The incident, which happened almost a year ago, took place at a graduation banquet.

This brings up two points: Why did it take so long for this story to become news? I mean, this is pretty groundbreaking stuff for Norman, Oklahoma, where there's nothing to do all day but wait for the Rapture.

Secondly, on a slightly more serious note, look at what the NCAA has schools thinking about. It's a way of life for their compliance departments, being in constant fear that a scholarship, recruit visit, practice time, or any other revokable entity could be stripped at any second for the most obscure thing.

Eating is one of the greatest American past times and at a banquet, food is the most celebrated item there.

It should be noted that the three players who partook in this committed no NCAA violation. Oklahoma University self-reported the incident. What the players did was, technically, no violation of NCAA rules. And that's what the NCAA said. So, the school had to report a violation that's on the books, but it's not a violation.

But just in case someone rats them out again for committing a violation that may or may not be a violation, it's time for someone to help the NCAA portion nazis. If not us, then who? Well ...

Be a conscious fan and forward this to a player or players you think might be in danger of offending. Such as the entire offensive and defensive lines of your alma mater. Or your fat uncle.

Or that committee that's worried about players not being able to keep up with no-huddle offenses. Tell Lou Saban and Bret Bielema to thank you later.

And some wonder why the power conference schools want to form their own division and regulate themselves.

Putting these fears in football powerhouse programs like Oklahoma over such a minor possible infraction like eating too much food is astounding.