NCAA Week 6: Good Snark, Bad Snark
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The British are quite forthright in describing the potency of their beer.
They simply call it like it is: the specific gravity.
All sorts of gravity was on display in Week 6.
In between, there's enough on offer to justify every moment of tailgating and post-functioning. They drink to remember; they drink to forget.
And in a wide-open season like this one, just keep it coming.
Good Snark: Sacajawea's Revenge ... The next time Oregon tries to go all Pacific Northwest History 101, it oughta read the fine print. If Lewis & Clark didn't have that Native chick to point the way, they might still be traipsing around out there with the Sasquatch.
As it was, noted historian Mike Leach is the one who provided the lesson. Topic: Stay on Topic. Weird things happen when one is distracted.
Bad Snark: What's in a Name? ... In a week when Wazzu didn't Coug It, Dabo Sweeney wanted to make it perfectly clear after dispatching a slumping Ramblin' Wreck that there's no such thing as Clemsoning:
Nice try, Dabo. The term's not about losing, but a certain way of losing. Feel free to turn your own page.
Good Snark: Dude's 48 and Still a Man ... Sweeney's clearly working on it, but he still needs to learn how to do a signature rant.
Who the hell cares anymore what set Mike Gundy off? Dude gave us a classic line:
Said the Man, "Well, we won. We didn't lose. So on to the next week ..."
They won't lose in Week 7, either. Bye week. Then comes a quasi-bye week.
Bad Snark: Those Mean Ol' Walkin' Blues ... The head coach handbook advises to walk out of a presser only if you've got the gravitas to get away with it. Unfortunately for him, Randy Edsall is to gravitas what Scott Evil is to skullduggery:
After a routine shellacking by Ohio State, the Maryland coach was asked if his post-game handhakes with Terps players were a foreboding hint about his future:
Just keep on walking, dude.
Good Snark: Doggie Style ... Washington had four defensive starters drafted in the NFL's first 44 slots last spring, and so far, they haven't really been missed. Clearly, a solid foundation was put in place last season:
This year, Washington has the Pac-12's top-rated defense, and not just because they held a rudderless USC squad to 346 yards and forced two turnovers. This unit -- stacked with underclassmen -- kept the CalBears close the week before, which frankly, is much more impressive.
Like Urban Meyer's done at Ohio State, Chris Petersen's bought into rugby-style tackling techniques. While that's a work in progress, it's got Husky Nation feeling that its 11-game losing streak to arch-rival Oregon may finally be snapped.
Bad Snark: Cornholio'd ... No one needs to convince the Huskers that there are snakes in Nebraska. Mike Riley's charges have already suffered four last-play bites this year, which has turned them into an afterthought in the Big Ten race before October even got into full bloom. Not the sort of trick-or-treat they anticipated in Lincoln.
Good Snark: Great Horny Toads ... OK, their mascot's actually a lizard, but TCU should still think about swapping it for UTSA's Roadrunner. Gary Patterson's combo Track Meet & Aerial Show needs to post points in mass quanities to compensate for seven losses to injury on his defense, and his club's got the speed to do it.
The Frogs needed every step of it to dash past Bill Snyder's superbly-prepared-as-usual Kansas State Wildcats at the finish line:
Bad Snark: Saved by the Vowel ... Bulldog fans of the Peach State persuasion don't need to worry about becoming a synonym for Clemsoning because a word like Georgiaing looks uglier than Uga.
So did their game against Tennessee. It put paid to a pre-season favorite that couldn't protect a 24-3 lead:
And for the record, Richting looks and sounds too much like richtig, the German word for correct. Because for a presumed contender, something isn't. Again.
Good Snark: Happy Maize ... Jim Harbaugh's probably still too busy winning to check the NFL standings these days. Maybe the Niners felt his act was getting old, but it sure as hell beats the act they've got now. Ego trips aside, there's just no accounting for the logic.
Snarkalicious: Liking the Viking ... Odds are Portland State won't win the FCS Big Sky Conference this season. The commuter school may squeeze into the real NCAA Division I playoffs as a wild card, but no matter what, the Vikings have made history. Again.
They've joined North Dakota State as the only full-fledged FCS squads to beat two FBS programs in the same season. Portland State handled Oregon's conquerors on the road and just got North Texas' head coach fired after a crushing 66-7 victory.
Which means that right now, the Vikings have as many FBS triumphs this year as any other Division I school in the state.
This season is just too much fun for those who can stay around long enough to enjoy it.