NCAA Week 3: Good Snark, Bad Snark
Published on 19-Sep-2016 by Alan Adamsson
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We finally get it.
And now that we do, we here at The Daily Player well and truly appreciate it.
To every RB out there who plays chicken with the goal line when completing an untouched run, thank you.
We apologize for ever thinking an idiocy epidemic was sweeping college football.
In a nation where even the dumbest conspiracy theory has legs, why did no one see this one coming?
Put it together, dudes and dudettes:
- The way pollsters vote and CFP Selectors select, point spreads are a factor in their decisions;
- And, dammit, point spreads matter, people!
- (Insert smoking gun here)
- And that's why only conference champions should be in the playoffs!
These student-athletes are protesting against The Man -- and you, too, Condi -- the best way they know how!
Bless you, dudes, for having the courage to forsake points for principle!
It's a tribute to the movement that their numbers just keep growing. Welcome, Joe Mixon and Vic Enwere. May others prosper from your personal sacrifice.
Good Snark: Fumbling Above and Beyond the Call ... There's more than one way to join the movement, as demonstrated by South Carolina State's Ahmaad Harris so aptly demonstrates:
Bad Snark: LandSnarks ... For the first time in over a decade, a Power Five team has blown two 20-point-or-more leads in the same season. It wasn't a usual suspect like Kansas; they have trouble scoring 20 points. Nope. Take a bow, Ole Miss.
Good Snark: Sticky Fingers ... The Pirates from Greenville may be the overshadowed Carolina, but they're always good for a headline or two during the season. WR Zay Jones is their latest. Dude had a day against a more prominent directinal Carolina:
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Bummer that Catch No 23 was ruled as a lateral-and-run. That woulda tied the NCAA single-game record, held by Eastern Michigan's Tyler Jones in 2008 (twice!) and Randy Gatewood of UNLV in 1994.
Bad Snark: Math 101, dudes ... Oregon's sartorial decisions may be a matter of personal taste, but they're clearly to full of themselves on PATs. The Quacksters fell in love with two-point trickery at Nebraska; the only problem was the Huskers didn't fall for it four times out of five.
Considering the Big Red won, 35-32. Those four PAT points left on the field are best eulogized by Dr Evil:
Good Snark: Big dudes are doing it for themselves ... The Alabama defense decided to show the LandSharks how it's done:
All that was left for Lane Kiffin's offense to do against Ole Miss was to go out there and hold 'em.
Bad Snark: Badger trap ... Bookies love dudes who don't consider the long view. Like jumping all over LSU-conquering Wisconsin, laying the 34½ points and totally ignoring who the Badgers play next, next, and next.
That's right. Those who don't learn from Clemson are doomed to repeat them.
Good Snark: Cupcake crushin' ... And that includes the Tigers, themselves. Who woulda thought not taking South Carolina State lightly would ever be a Power Five concept?
If Clemson's gonna pay $300,000 for another glorified scrimmage on a national TV platform, they'd best look like the playoff contender everyone says they are.
Bad Snark: Polls ... Florida State, previously ranked No 2 in the nation? Yeah, right.
Better keep it going, Louisville.
Good Snark: Bison stampede ... Speaking of, was that an alleged 11th-ranked team that got pounded in the trenches by North Dakota State?
The Bison held Iowa to 34 yards rushing on 25 carries. That's a 1.4 ypc average, or 1.6 ypc short of the Big Ten's image of three yards and a cloud of dust.
Of course, these days, spread offenses and a vacuum cleaner put paid to that phrase.
Bad Snark: Oregon QB recruits ... For two straight seasons, the Quack Attack has been led by FCS refugees. Why not? Free agency's a thing in the FBS these days.
Still, what's happening in Eugene? Why can't they develop their own slingers-&-slashers anymore? Aren't the top prep prospects not as enamored with NikeLand and whatever the hell they're gonna wear next?
Snarkalicious: Got D if you want it ... The amazing stat from Week 3 isn't that Texas and California lit it up for 93 points out in Berkeley. It's that the third quarter was totally scoreless.
Have at it, conspiracty theorists.