NCAA Week 11: Good Snark, Bad Snark
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Where does the time go?
One minute, it's the week past Labor Day, and all the ESPN-arranged non-cons of substance have given way to September crushings of most FCS opponents in paycheck games.
The next, it's time in Tuscaloosa for a ritual cupcake chomping before the Tide tees it up against Auburn.
Nevertheless, it's time for Nick Saban to warm up for his annual bitch-out speech to 'Bama students who refuse to part with three hours of their lives to watch a glorified scrimmage.
That means it's also time to scan the detritus of Week 11 in the wake of its November massacre, seeking orts amid the wacky essence of college football.
Good Snark: How'd Boise State not think of this? ... The Ground Zero of trick plays can only bow collectively in the direction of Lawrence for the sheer audacity of putting a blue dude down on blue turf to see if Iowa State was paying attention.
LaQuvionte Gonzalez got past the 25, so that's a plus.
The Jayhawks didn't, though, and 24 wasn't enough to topple Iowa State. Dudes must've been looking ahead to Texas.
Bad Snark: So much for the short field. Wait a minute. Where? ... West Virginia and the Longhorns combined for seven turnovers in Austin, but they accounted for only one touchdown.
Maybe that wouldn't be news in most places, but this is the Big XII, where every field is a short field.
Good Snark: Go, Johnny, go ... The nation's longest winning streak for teams that didn't play Prairie View A&M came to a screeching halt when John Carroll U ran a Blue Streak past Mt Union College and its 112-game victory run.
The now-second-place Purple Raiders will get their shot at revenge in the Division III playoffs, where conference championships count, and there's enough room left in the bracket for a distinguished team or two.
What a concept.
Bad Snark: Getting in touch with someone else's inner self ... Really, Coach Harbaugh? Lining up your slinger one lineman over from the center? Who's falling for that?
Wolverine guard Kyle Kalis must've been relieved the play went off on a quick count. But how well is a deke gonna work on a quick count? Seems like vanilla blocking accounted for the yards.
That clearly wasn't when QB Wilton Speight got sidelined for the season. Unless Kalis didn't appreciate cold hands.
Meanwhile, spending time on special teams this week wouldn't have gone amiss:
Good Snark: And here's your double scoop of vanilla ... While christening with both parents' surnames is a common practice in Latin countries, the northern Europeans who go that route put a hyphen between them to make certain both stay in the genealogy. That's usually because the mom's side has a unique name that they don't want to be lost.
Meanwhile, out in Missouri, If one of these Tigers has a sister, watch out:
Bad Snark: Heisman hopefuls ... Every damn week in every damn season, some hotshot goes off against lesser teams, rolls up a kajillion yards passing and/or rushing against Southwest Nowhere State, and starts getting mentioned as an invitee to wherever in New York City.
Shouldn't the award for college football's alleged best
player RB, QB, and occasional defender go to whomever stats it up in the big games?
And yes, the pros play a different game, but what they pay for each position is telling:
Snarkalicious: Seal of approval ... If anyone on a college football rosters has truly faced a must-win situation, it's Northwestern's Tom Hruby, .
There's something to be said about going into a war zone alive and returning still alive. That goes double for being on the military's version of special teams. That was Hruby, a Navy Seal.
Dude no doubt saved lives in harm's way. With the Wildcats, he's no doubt influenced a few.
Well done, all around.