NCAA Week 1: Good Snark, Bad Snark
Published on 5-Sep-2017 by Alan Adamsson
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Zero -- you know, 0 -- was a world-changing concept. Some would tell you that life is nothing without it.
It did sum up the start of college football's season this year, since the cabal who controls these things designated Labor Day weekend as the proverbial Week 1.
So the prior weekend's games were played in -- what else? -- Week 0.
What did you miss?
Which brings us to Week 1, where existential crises have already taken hold in select venues.
And by grown adults, of all people.
Talk about going from zero-to-irrational at warp speed.
What must really be frustrating is they have no choice but to play out the season.
Good Snark: Viva la FCS! ... Those feisty dudes who actually do have a playoff usually have an outfit or two who don't stay in their lane before picking up their appearance money. This year, it was:
- HBCU stalwart and 45-point dog Howard, winners over UNLV and
- Definitely holier-than-Baylor Liberty.
A couple of familiar names were part of the Bison's 43-40 triumph. Coach Mike London was last seen heading up Virginia, and Cam Newton's little bro, Caylin, was last observed runnin' through Rebels:
To those who thought the transitioning-from-FCS Flames didn't have a prayer against Baylor, seems like they sold old hand Turner Gill short:
Upon further review, maybe it is a perfect time for the Bears to panic.
Bad Snark: Big XII expansion candidates ... Is it too late for Texas and Texas A&M to patch things up between them and, as the Beatles once advised, get back to where they once belonged?
They've both got the credentials: lotsa scoring and zero defense. Nothing says pinball quite like Big XII. What's a CFP-dreaming Sooner to do?
Dudes better stay away from that wagon before visiting the Horseshoe this weekend.
Except maybe for West Virginia, they're not gonna get much cosmetic help from the rest of their conference.
Good Snark: Pac-12 surprise squad ... No, not that one. Who knew wandering DC Justin Wilcox would adapt so quickly to his first HC assignment?
Apparently, the outgoing AD at California did.
Wilcox made a shrewd move by hiring former Eastern Washington HC Beau Baldwin as his OC. Seems like those two have whipped a doormat into a dangerous team.
It's not easy crossing the continent to play a game at 9:00am, body-clock time.
Bad Snark: It's not easy being a savior ... Stats confirm millennials are abandoning football and combine with Gen Y to cold-shoulder college games in person. Fair enough, but those who still attend Longhorns games have got damn good arms:
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Texas might do well to expand its walk-on program. There's gotta be a QB somewhere in that crowd.
The 'Horns got the coach they wanted after they got the coach they wanted after the coach they really wanted turned them down.
Tom Herman already knew that, as far as Longhorn Nation is concerned, they may as well put patience and virtue in the same sentence. That means there'll only be one sentence on the topic they'll never use. Others include anything with A&M in it.
Good Snark: Hawkeyes for humanity ... OK, this one got covered everywhere, for good reason.
A new children's hospital went up in Iowa City during the off-season, and the top floors have a full view of the Hawkeyes' stadium. Those kids face a tougher row to hoe than all the big-brand coaches put together, and the Iowa fans decided to acknowledge them after the first quarter of every home game:
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Those hands also dipped into wallets, big time. They've raised thousands already.
And the Hawkeye players have started a #KidCaptain program:
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Too cool.
Bad Snark: What stats have you posted lately? ... As we all know, throwing for a kajillion yards and 20 TDs in one game against a cupcake somehow turn into an accomplishment when Heisman talk pops up.
So, what's USC's Sam Darnold to do when Western Michigan -- hardly a cupcake -- holds him to zero paydirt passes and cross-town rival Josh Rosen is doing a Luke Falk against those defensively-challenged Aggies?
Frankly, both Pac-12 pre-season favorites looked listless in Week 1. Washington didn't exactly light it up at Rutgers, either.
Except for Gary Pettis's kid:
That's six for his career. The NCAA record is eight.
Good Snark: Gophers are golden ... Believe it or not, Minnesota football's collected seven national titles. Granted, the last one was in 1960, but still, they've only got nine more to go to catch Alabama.
Now it's PJ Fleck's turn to get them there.
No word on how many fans showed up because they thought it was a Bills-Vikings game.
It's Fleck's job to fill the house because it isn't a Bills-Vikings game. Watch this space.
Bad Snark: Things that go snap in the night ... The Crimson Tide clearly studied game video of Florida State slinger Deondre François last season. Here's what they noticed:
The finest defense in all the Southland figured they could work with that.
And they did. Focus on Stage Left for the heatseeker known as Ronnie Harrison:
And that's how François ripped his patella tendon.
Add the Seminoles to the list of those who think now is a perfect time to panic.
Snarkalicious: Blind faith ... When the Trojans finally pulled away from a legit Western Michigan squad, the weekend's best moment was at hand:
Full marks to the Broncos for agreeing to let it happen.