NCAA Week 1: Good Snark, Bad Snark

...There are a number of bromide in college football.

One of the old standbys is this: Teams show the most improvement between their first and second games.

If so, then there's still hope for the four FBS schools who lost to FCS squads in Week 1 -- Army, Kansas, Wazzu, and Wyoming -- while the Cleveland Browns and Cincinnati Bengals should be on Ohio State's non-con schedule.

But, contrary to popular belief, these are 18-to-23-year-old kids -- OK, 18-to-25 in the Utah schools -- operating under the tutelage of some crazy-ass coaches.

So, just like every other season, unpredictable twists and turns will abound ...

... especially when it seems inevitable as to who the four playoff candidates are, which is almost as inevitable as the CFP expanding to eight teams. Can't come soon enough.

But Week 1's Good Snark, Bad Snark can:

Good Snark: The Hail Moroni ... Who knew friends don't let friends win their inaugural home opener? BYU's Bronco Mendenhall and new Cornhuskers coach Mike Riley are buds. Looked like dude was about to impress his new employers and a pigskin lovin' state when the Cougars pulled this little gem out of their playbook with no time left

Looks like the horn finally sounded.

Bad Snark: Déja Vu for BYU ... That was Cougar backup QB Tanner Mangum tossing the miracle pass. For the third time in years, scrambler extraordinaire Taysom Hill endured a season-ending injury. Ironically, it was on this 21-yard TD scamper with nary a tackler about:

Hill was clearly limping at the end. He actually went back into the game for BYU's offensive series, but not for long. Dude's 25 now; at this rate, his college football injuries will be covered by AARP.

Good Snark: Bronco Destiny ... As fate would have it, next up for the Cougars is none other than Boise State. Washington coach Chris Petersen's Husky recruits -- the two-deep was loaded with frosh and sophs, including QB Jake Browning -- came within a missed 46-yard FG of going into over time with Petersen's Bronco recruits, as 20 of them were on the field at one point or another.

And those Bronco recruits were solid, especially the defensive line, who basically saved the game for Boise State when they sacked Browning after the Huskies had scrimmaged at the Bronco 19.

Now, in Week 2 and beyond the déja vu BYU wants to see is another miracle from the freshman Mangum. Meanwhile, karma continues to favor the Broncos.

Bad Snark: Spock, Cock, Jayhawk ... So, who are you gonna believe, Roger Goodell or the Kansas State band?

But this is what's gonna leave the lingering aftertaste all week:

Assumedly, Kansas already had the K-State game on Sat 28 Nov circled on its calendars. The only question is whether or not they held on to their pencil.

Good Snark: Happy Hooters ... The last time Temple beat Penn State, the Japanese took it out on Pearl Harbor.

Now that the Owls have done it again, vigilance is advised.

Bad Snark: No Mulligans for Longhorns ... If last year didn't convince Texas coach Charlie Strong how much work had to be done in Austin, Notre Dame's rout of his crew underscored the point in Week 1.

No doubt about what really set this Longhorn alum off: He had the time to watch it.

Good Snark: Rosen's Rosy Rose Bowl Debut ... UCLA was one of a handful of teams to actually open the season with an FBS opponent that wasn't a made-for-TV arrangement. They were also one of a handful to actually start with a true freshman at the helm.

Not just any freshman, of course. What else for Tinseltown but the freshman chucker? And Josh Rosen was true to the script:

Rosen will get more easy seasoning at UNLV in Week 2 and then see an upgrade in resistance when BYU visits after that. At least until then, though, it's basking time.

Bad Snark: Cancelled Cupcake ... Strategic scheduling may be an SEC specialty, but LSU's gonna have to settle for intrasquad scrimmages this year before jumping into conference play. That's because Mother Nature was a tougher opponent than McNeese State could ever hope to be.

No word as to whether any corn dogs got scorched.

So, off they geaux to Starkville in Week 2 and come back to host Auburn in Week 3 before the pastry shop opens again, compliments of Syracuse and Eastern Michigan.

And after the lightning this week, LSU now gets the thunder:

World peace can not come soon enough.

Snarkilicious: The Smart Dudes Bowl ... When Stephen-freaking-Hawking can spend 256 pages describing time, there's no discussion about it being a heavy subject.

But when the concept gets stripped down to what's left on a bloody game clock, well, no PhD is required to understand that seconds are precious and time is finite.

First, kudos to the Northwestern Wildcats:

But here's the game tone, as it is so often with the Cardinal: How does David Shaw keep doing stuff like this representing an institution of higher learning like Stanford?

Long story short: It doesn't take a Rhodes Scholar to realize football hasn't invented a 10-point play yet.