Sounders Top Terps to Snap ... Wait a Minute; What?

Granted, Paul Allen and Phil Knight combined have more money than the Flint public utilities department.

They could buy small countries and rent them out, if it struck their fancy.

But who knew they'd focus their immense wealth and power to turn Sparty into an MLS fashion statement?

Did Michigan State lose a bet or something?

No, the Spartan equipment managers didn't use too much bleach.

Somehow, Nike's Knight convinced Michigan State that Allen's Seattle Sounders are the harbingers of sartorial splendor.

Allen's Seahawks once dared to play in a similar kit. Rumor has it they'll now only do so at gunpoint.

This is the same kajillionaire who commissioned what's been described as architectural dog vomit for his Experience Music Project museum at the base of Seattle Space Needle:

Right.

On the bright side -- blindingly bright, in fact -- State's players are fine with kryptonite green. They're even threatening to wear them again.

The way is being paved. Psychedelia 2.0 is on the horizon, and we'll definitely be able to see it coming.