It's the Angry White Dude, and Don't Waste His Time!

Published on 14-Mar-2016 by Larry Cory
Basketball - NCAA Mens / NCAA Basketball Daily Opinion

Suck it, March Madness blowhards!

I can't speak for any of you, but I know that I'm a very busy man.  

I mean, I've got a day job, then I've got to get to the gym and move some iron, and then head off to officiate either a basketball, football, or baseball game.  

Hey, I'm not complaining. Staying busy probably keeps me out of trouble. The point is, I'm a busy man!

You guys are, too.

So how much time did we waste having to listen to Joe Lunardi or Joey Brackets or whomever the hell other nicknames these show hosts create?

You've all heard of The Bracket Man, right? Dude's on every damn sports show in the world, and for some reason, he and all these networks think that we give a flying flip about whom he thinks might get into the Big Dance.

Just ask me, and I can tell you in about 45 seconds. That's right, I can guarantee that my picks are 100% right, and I'll only waste 45 seconds of everyone's valuable time. Now, that's a deal we can all live with!

When did sports reporters start bloviating what they thought was going to happen instead of just reporting what actually happened?

In that light, whoever leaked the Big Dance bracket on Twitter before that excruciating, two-hour CBS Selection Show got around to it deserves a medal for giving us those moments of our lives back!

This is only the beginning, my brothers and sisters. Let me preach on!

For the next three weeks, we'll have to listen to everyone who ever dribbled a ball tell us who they think will win. Oh, my freaking goodness! You're wasting my time!  

No TV or radio for me until Thursday.  Can you imagine that awful First Take show over the next few days? If you see me watching it, smack me upside my head or any other body part you can reach.  

What about the second-worst show on TV: His & Hers? And the worst show on sports TV: Dan Le Batard?

If I stumble into watching even a sentence on these shows, please have me committed!

Now, the fine folks at The Daily Player will be happy to see that I'm back and better than ever. They've even described me as the Angry White Dude.

You know what? They're right.  

I've got issues, but writing these rants lowers my blood pressure and has probably saved me from having a stroke over some of the stupid things that we, as sports fans, have to endure!

Welcome to March Madness! It's Awesome with a Capital A, baby!

Oh, geezzzzzzzz! Please don't get me started on Dickie V!

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