Upgrade to Coach: The Five Best Candidates to Pilot the LA Clippers

Published on 23-Jun-2013 by Xavier McSpaniel

Basketball - NBA    NBA Daily Update

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Upgrade to Coach: The Five Best Candidates to Pilot the LA Clippers

And in our new weekly segment, What Can We Get for a Bag of Balls and a Taco Bell Coupon?, it appears the Los Angeles Clippers' attempt to secure Celtics bench boss Doc Rivers has fallen short. As such, the coaching position made vacant by the murder -- er, sorry ... manslaughter -- of Vinny Del Negro remains in flux.

Never fear, Clips Nation: there are plenty of other candidates capable of taking the fall for failure to reach unrealistic expectations. Here's The Daily Player's top five, each with their most pressing 'Alleys' (Pros) and 'Oops' (Cons), all of whom have thus far inexplicably failed to get the consideration they deserve:

Don Nelson:
Alley ... 'Run and Gun' philosophy perfectly suited to Lob City.
Oop ... Will die of liver cirrhosis during tenure.

Chris Paul:
Alley ... Not as coach-murdery as Dwight Howard.
Oop ... Will have to immediately retire to be offered the job.

Cliff Paul:
Alley ... Would never be seen in the same locker room as Chris Paul.
Oop ... His assistant may be a pervert.

Flip Saunders:
Alley ... Recently employed by the Minnesota Timberwolves, so is available.
Oop ... Would have to change his name to 'Flop'.

Mike Rice:
Alley ... A true players' coach.
Oop ... Nothing to see here ... Move along.