The Latest Twist: Will Lebron James Jump to the DSRL?
Do not mess with the power of the Oreo.
With its rich (160 calories per serving) history and statistical findings that 50% of its consumers twist each cookie open before eating, it was only a matter of time before the Double Stuf Racing League would happen, siphoning away some of the top talent the sports world has to offer, teaming up to become a universal force for good tasting snacks.
Surely no one can find fault with this style of dunking or those who do it. That is, of course, unless 'dunk' and 'Lebron James' are mentioned in the same sentence.
Over the past few weeks, the Miami Heat players have peppered their pre-game warm-ups by outshining each other with showboat dunks. The reason seemed logical; it was a harmless way to motivate fans to be punctual. If they come a little earlier, they get to enjoy the show.
Instead of a tasty treat, the pre-game dunkfest has sprung into a much bigger story. LeBron has been slammed with criticism over his ability to throw down mind-blowing dunks in practice but yet refusing to participate in the NBA's Slam Dunk Contest during All-Star weekend.
This sidebar has turned into a sensation as James is now getting trashed not only by fans but analysts and even former players. Amidst the entire ruckus, Lebron briefly considered stopping his pre-game dunks. But after the heavy consideration this matter seems to deserve, he decided not to curb it after all.
Maybe President Obama will be forced to intervene, right after he's done calling Kim Jong Un at Dennis Rodman's request. There are priorities, you know.
How could so much attention be diverted to what is basically a practice? But there it is. And I believe Mr James owes it to the world to address this issue once and for all.
It's time for him to come out on the court and display the full range of his acrobatic skills by twisting a cookie and dunking it in a glass of milk.
By raising his talent to a level of Oreo proportions, the game that follows will be reduced to an anti-climax.
Oh, wait. Looks like it already has.
That's a shame. James and his Heat cohorts are putting together a decent season.
But never mind that. It's time for Lebron James to be the role model everyone is clamoring for him to be.
So when the occasion finally arises, chill out, grab a glass of milk, and join in the dunking.
For some of us, it's the only kind of dunking we will ever master.