Sweet Georgia Clown: Dwight Howard Is a Perfect Fit for the Harlem Globetrotters
The great poet, Homer, once said: "Marge, my friend, I haven't learned a thing."
So it is with Dwight Howard.
The most decisive figure in the Association today declared his list of possible landing spots for season 2014 now includes the Golden State Warriors. It makes sense - the Dubs are on the rise, have an exciting young core, and have just completed their most successful go-round since the 1970's (a result due in no small part to the resurgent playoff performance of their own elite-when-healthy pivot, Andrew Bogut). They join a parade that includes the incumbent Lakers, Mavs, Rockets, Hawks, Marlins, Flyers and Santa Cruz Banana Slugs.
If history is any judge, the list of potential destinations will grow larger than Gregg Popovich's media disdain and flip-flop more times than Chris Paul's highlight reel. If common sense has any chance to prevail, however, one team will surely secure their oft-pouting, candy-touting, ref-shouting, labrum-doubting, franchise man:
The Harlem Globetrotters.
D-12 has demonstrated time and time again he possesses the act; he's a comedian extraordinaire and not at all averse to a ridiculous theatrical costume. He would undoubtedly get all the offensive touches he desires. Everyone would love him, all of the time. He would also be following the long line of (well, of one) freakishly athletic centers who plied their trade in the striped shorts.
Harlem and Howard: the perfect marriage of mayhem and manchild.
Actually, on second thought, perhaps the Washngton Generals would be the better fit.