Professional Help: Eastern Conference Seeks Therapy for Abysmal Showing

Published on 04-Dec-2013 by Xavier McSpaniel
Basketball - NBA / NBA Daily Opinion

Professional Help: Eastern Conference Seeks Therapy for Abysmal Showing

On the back of the worst start to an NBA season since Dr J was an intern, The Daily Player has discovered the Eastern Conference has turned to a sports psychologist in an attempt to stem their sprint out of the gym. Here is our exclusive transcript of the latest session:

SP: So, what has prompted this emergency call?

EC: Did you see the Raptors last night?

SP: Rhetorical question. You may as well ask me if I took a dump in my favourite pair of shoes.

EC: They led the Warriors by twenty-seven.

SP: Great! That's progress!

EC: And lost.

SP: Oh ... Well, that's Canada, isn't it? What do they know about basketball? They gave us Anthony Bennett.

EC: I feel so depresed.

SP: Look, this is just a phase. It will pass in, oh, twenty years or so. You'll be riding high while I'm talking to the West, providing reassurance the Spurs can still win a title with an average age of fifty-five.

EC: I don't know.

SP: Hey, what do we say?

EC: There are no bad conferences, only bad teams.

SP: Say it again.

EC: There are no bad conferences, only bad teams

SP: One more time.

EC: THERE ARE NO BAD CONFERENCES, ONLY BAD TEAMS!

SP: Yeah, now get out there and be the very best you can be!

EC: OKAY!

SP: By the way, Pacers are playing the Jazz tonight ... So, I'll free up my schedule tomorrow. Just in case.

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