Professional Help: Eastern Conference Seeks Therapy for Abysmal Showing
On the back of the worst start to an NBA season since Dr J was an intern, The Daily Player has discovered the Eastern Conference has turned to a sports psychologist in an attempt to stem their sprint out of the gym. Here is our exclusive transcript of the latest session:
SP: So, what has prompted this emergency call?
EC: Did you see the Raptors last night?
SP: Rhetorical question. You may as well ask me if I took a dump in my favourite pair of shoes.
SP: Great! That's progress!
EC: And lost.
SP: Oh ... Well, that's Canada, isn't it? What do they know about basketball? They gave us Anthony Bennett.
EC: I feel so depresed.
SP: Look, this is just a phase. It will pass in, oh, twenty years or so. You'll be riding high while I'm talking to the West, providing reassurance the Spurs can still win a title with an average age of fifty-five.
EC: I don't know.
SP: Hey, what do we say?
EC: There are no bad conferences, only bad teams.
SP: Say it again.
EC: There are no bad conferences, only bad teams!
SP: One more time.
EC: THERE ARE NO BAD CONFERENCES, ONLY BAD TEAMS!
SP: Yeah, now get out there and be the very best you can be!
SP: By the way, Pacers are playing the Jazz tonight ... So, I'll free up my schedule tomorrow. Just in case.