Obviously You're Not a Golfer: Andrew Bynum Can Now Officially Be Called 'The Big Lebowski'

News of Andrew Bynum's indefinite suspension from the Cleveland Cavaliers meant a new nickname had to be found for the underachieving carcinogen.

But what? Bye-num? Whaaandrew? Left of Center? The Sword Swallower?

None of the above. We believe another moniker nails it.

The Big Lebowski.

Four quotes from the Coen Brothers' caper definitively demonstrate why the former All-Star is now The Dude:

"A world of pain."
At the tender age of 26, the man's knees are more fragile than Donny's heart. To borrow from Walter: "He died as so many young men of his generation before his time ..."

"F*ck it, Dude, let's go bowling."
Bynum had a well documented gutterball attitude to rehab in Philadelphia. One suspects any team that takes him on is going to get pee on their rug. 

"How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm once they've seen Karl Hungus."
The LA Lakers are the Karl Hungus franchise of the NBA. The Cleveland Cavaliers? They figure to be The Jesus' offsider, Liam. Mind you, Bynum doesn't seem to favour logjammin' in any basketball destination.

"That's just, like, your opinion man."
Bynum has long been a ringer in coach Mike Brown's mind. Little surprise he finally decided this passive-aggression will not stand.