Maloof Spoof: Sacramento Kings' Fans Answer Full Page of Fawning
The Maloofs -- NBA franchise ownership's version of a Roy Hibbert press conference -- are splitting Sacramento.
However, before hitting the airport where DeMarcus Cousins still wanders the runways, they felt a lttle nostalgic about moving on and decided to pen a loving tribute to the fans they water-boarded for fifteen years.
Not to be outdone, the Kings' faithful chose The Daily Player to share their riposte:
The God-awful memories created these past seasons were because of you, the d-bag owners, and your dedicated ineptitude.
We truly turned to alcoholism during your time as stewards of the Kings' franchise.
We, the people of Sacramento, warmly brought your Kings into our hearts and for that we will always be suicidal.
Many thanks to Tyreke Evans and DeMarcus Cousins and Jason Thompson and Cole Aldrich for their support and commitment in getting rid of you clowns.
We also recognize Mayor Kevin Johnson, the City Council, and the City of Sacramento staff for stopping you ass-hats from lining your pockets with millions more unearned dough.
We wish the new ownership group, led by some fitness freak, a Facebook crook and one of the dudes from 'The Big Bang Theory', all the best in sorting out the nuclear blast site you've left behind.
We will always love the Kings ... And we will always hate your guts.
GO TO HELL!
The Fans