Coneheads: Four NBA Players Who Should Be Handing Out Ice Creams with Kevin Durant

Published on 19-Aug-2013 by Xavier McSpaniel
Basketball - NBA / NBA Daily Opinion

Coneheads: Four NBA Players Who Should Be Handing Out Ice Creams with Kevin Durant

The dumb-assery bar on basketball shoe promotion was raised this week with the Association's second best player, Kevin "Kevin" Durant, parading around in an ice cream truck for the good of his new line, KD VI.

Purported to be part of Nike's 'Summer is Shameless' campaign, the NBA's leading scorer then proceeded to hand out frozen treats to puzzled children and point eagerly to a sign that plugged his booties in all their garish, Phoenix Suns-backwashed splendor.

Where have the great marketing ideas of the past gone; the ones that wowed our eyes and opened our wallets? Perhaps they foresaw their own demise and entered LeBron's 'Witness' protection program in the Philippines? As lame as the KD cold confectionery concept is, though, it did get The Daily Player confabbing about which other ballers might be worth some two-scoop sponsorship. Here are our top four coneheads:

Klondike Bar - Derrick Rose: What would he do for a Klondike Bar? Pretty much anything but playing basketball.

Strawberry Shortcake - Metta World Peace: Mankind is already well aware the new Knick is a strawberry short of a shortcake. He should make a few dollars out of it.

Drumstick - Andrew Bynum: Not just a great metaphor for his ongoing lower body woe, but a fine analogy for his entire career: chocolate and vanilla, soft in the middle, and with a generous sprinkling of nuts.

Snow Cone - Chris Andersen: A natural fit, given they share much the same colouring. And The Birdman has certainly had his fair share of "snow" in the past.

Table 'dailypla_database.metrics_robots' doesn't exist