Chuck It Back: Playoff-Bereft Carmelo Anthony Is Catching Sharks

Published on 28-Apr-2014 by Xavier McSpaniel
Basketball - NBA / NBA Daily Update

Chuck It Back: Playoff-Bereft Carmelo Anthony Is Catching Sharks

It's the NBA Playoffs, so Carmelo Anthony is fishing.

And contrary to his basketball career, he's managed to snag the big one:

A shark!

The proof was posted to Anthony's Instagram today and, although the situation begged for someone to say "We're gonna need a bigger boat", all we got was girlish screaming and cuss words: 

Several unfounded rumours have been circulating about this momentous catch. As professional sports journalists, we'd like to assist these unfounded rumours in becoming unequivocal truth by presenting them below: 

  • As soon as the shark was caught, Carmelo jab-stepped, faded and launched it back into the ocean.
  • A chopped up Mike Woodson was used as bait.
  • Phil Jackson was also on the boat, fishing for Steve Kerr.
  • Donald Sterling was caught on tape rooting for the shark.
  • Raymond Felton threatened to shoot it.
  • Watching the beast's futile struggle prompted Carmelo to name it 'Bulls'.
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