Hey Hey Hey, It's Matt Albers

Published on 04-Nov-2016 by Raoul Duke
MLB / MLB Daily Review

Hey Hey Hey, It's Matt Albers

While the 2016 World Series provided good vibes and great theater for baseball fans worldwide, there's some unfortunate MLB news to report.

The Chicago White Sox declined the 2017 option on reliever Matt Albers.

That's right, dudes.

Matt Albers is a free agent.

In stark contrast to the happiness currently being experienced on the north side of Chicago, there's most certainly no joy on the south side at the moment.

The journeyman hurler was like a port in the storm, consistently providing barely adequate middle relief and general portliness.

However, his greatest contribution was simply in his name.

Yes, Matt Albers sounds just like Fat Albert.

It's just a fun name, although the Bill Cosby association does mitigate the joy somewhat.

Let's just hope there was no foul play behind that animated fence.

Many baseball fans die a little inside every time Albers is released, which does seem to happen quite often.

The White Sox decided that the meager $3million owed to Albers was too steep a price to pay for mediocrity.

Why, indeed.

The well-traveled 33-year-old is sure to catch on somewhere, though, because he's Matt Albers and his name makes people giggle.

Perhaps next season, dude will face Coco Crisp in the middle innings of a blowout.

Not one, but two funny names.

Because baseball.

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