Bad Break: Giancarlo Stanton to Be the New Face of Baseball

If Giancarlo Stanton had second thoughts about becoming the new face of baseball, it became a moot point Thursday.

In an at-bat against Milwaukee Brewers' maimer Mike Fiers, Stanton wore an 88mph pitch to the mug.

This ended both his season and his inclination towards solid food.

And, unbeknownst to him, the facial massacre was delivered with the explicit blessing of MLB.

"When a new face of the game comes along," said new Commish-elect, Rob Manfred, "we want to be able to shape that face in a way we feel good about. To do that, we have to turn the old face to mush with an 'errant' fastball or, in the case of Aroldis Chapman, a line-drive to the back of the ambulance."

"Short-term pain for long-term gain."

And just what will Stanton's 'new face' look like?

"If I had my way, exactly like Brett Lawrie on the wobbly pops."

Stanton continues to recover in a Milwaukee hospital.